


P.S. I Love You

by krashlyntome (bestthreemonths)



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 21:24:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4802711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestthreemonths/pseuds/krashlyntome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Ali just wants to spend her anniversary with her girlfriend, but Ashlyn has other ideas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	P.S. I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be misled by the title... I've never even seen that movie. It just works. You'll see ;)

Ali’s favorite part of a day off is waking up. Some days she wakes up before Ashlyn and makes coffee and breakfast to bring her in bed, and other days Ashlyn will wake her up with kisses to her neck and shoulders, but either way, it’s always nice to wake up next to her girlfriend, especially with the knowledge that they don’t have anywhere to be.

And she’s been looking forward to this day off in particular for weeks now, as it’s their five-year anniversary. Well, give or take some “off-again” times.

But when she rolls over to greet her this morning, she’s met with an empty bed. Frowning, she rubs her eyes and squints to make out the time on her alarm clock. It’s already 11. “Ash?” she calls, but there’s no answer, and the bathroom door is open, so it isn’t likely she’s in there. When her eyes adjust to the light, she sees what she missed before: a note on Ashlyn’s pillow. She recognizes it as a page from the journal in which Ali has often seen her writing, but she has always had the better judgment to not snoop. But this time, her name is on it. She opens it, laughing when she sees Ashlyn has dated the top. Those who don’t know Ashlyn might think she would be more laid back, but she’s type A about some things, and she takes journaling seriously.

_11/8/2015  
Good morning beautiful,_

_Happy anniversary! Five years… I can’t believe I’ve managed to put up with you this long. I must be a saint. I woke up early and couldn’t get back to sleep. I wanted to let you sleep in, so I went to Baked & Wired. Come meet me. Wear something nice for a day out, I want to spoil you today. Love you, mean it._

There’s a sloppily drawn heart next to her signature, and Ali smiles because at least she tried. She loves when Ashlyn takes charge of the plans because she always makes them perfect. After a quick shower and outfit decision for which she recruits Syd’s help via FaceTime, she goes to her car to drive to meet Ashlyn, texting her that she’s on the way.

When she gets in the car, there’s another ripped-out journal page taped to her steering wheel.

_2/3/2012_

_Today was hard. I drove Ali home from the hospital, and she cried the whole way. I’ve seen her cry a few times since her injury, but this was something else. She’s sleeping now, so I’m taking some time to breathe and reflect. I wish this didn’t happen. I wish I could take away the pain from her. She doesn’t deserve this._

_But I believe in her. I know it’s going to be hard, and I’m happy to dry her tears and be her shoulder to cry on as long as she needs, but before long, she’s going to be the Ali Krieger she always has been, only better._

_I love her. I haven’t told her that yet since we got back together, not really, but I love her and I know she’ll get through this._

Ali finds herself tearing up as she reads, remembering that day. Well, kinda. She was on a lot of painkillers, but she remembers the feeling of helplessness and fear that haunted her after tearing her ACL and MCL. And she remembers Ashlyn being there the whole time, just like she had promised both to Ali’s face and to her diary, it seems. And she remembers Ashlyn loving her. No, she hadn’t said it yet, not in so many words, but Ali could feel it.

She reaches for her phone again to text Ash. “You are the best,” she says. “Casually crying in the car, but whatever. Waterproof mascara ;) Love love love you.”

Traffic is miraculously light, so she’s in a good mood when she gets to the coffee shop, but when she walks in, Ashlyn is nowhere to be found.

“Alex!” she hears, and she spins around, surprised to see her father behind her.

“Dad?” she laughs, hugging him. “What are you doing here?”

“I think I’m supposed to have some excuse prepared, but I don’t,” he says. “Ashlyn told me it’s your anniversary and that she wanted to surprise you, so here I am.”

Ali smiles, imagining Ashlyn texting her dad like she does so often when she needs advice on making one of Ali’s favorite meals or help changing the oil in her car, which usually results in Ken just driving down and doing it for her. Ali loves their bond, and she doesn’t undervalue the importance of her dad’s support.

“So did she leave?” Ali asks, looking around, and he laughs.

“She’s long gone,” he says. “I think I’m just a distraction. She seems to have plenty more up her sleeve. But she did want me to give you this.” He hands her an iced coffee—which she knows is her favorite order because Ashlyn doesn’t do anything halfway—and a slip of paper, another journal page. He checks his watch. “We’re late. I’m supposed to drive you somewhere now. Drink quickly.”

“But I drove here,” Ali says.

“I know,” he says. “We’re taking your car. You can read on the way, come on!” He grabs her keys from the hand that’s holding the paper and makes his way toward the car.

“How did she—” Ali starts, but her dad cuts her off.

“Trust me, the fewer questions you ask, the more you’ll enjoy your day,” he says. “She picked me up from the house at 8 a.m. to recruit my help. I think she’s pretty serious about making you happy.”

Ali unfolds the paper when she gets buckled in, this time glancing at the date first.

_3/5/2011_

_I can’t sleep because today was too good. This whole week has been amazing. Portugal is beautiful, the soccer is incredible, but she is something else. She told me she loved me this morning, and it might have been an accident, but I really don’t think so._

_We walked to a coffee shop because she wanted to explore on our day off. I bought our coffee (against her protests) and she found us a table outside where we could enjoy the beautiful weather. I brought out the coffees and when she took her first sip, she said “I love you.” I think she meant thank you, but her eyes sparkled and she didn’t take it back._

_We walked around and held hands and kissed where anyone could see us, and I’ve never felt so happy in my life. We went to the beach at sunset, because that’s where we always end up, and I stared at her for ages before I finally kissed her and said “I love you too.” I thought I would drop dead from the nerves, but then she kissed me back and I knew she had meant it earlier._

_When I walked her to her room and kissed her goodnight, she said it again, and so did I, and then we said it again and again like we were just trying to wrap our heads around it. We probably would have stayed there all night if HAO hadn’t come back and interrupted us, I think._

_When I got back to my room, Whit knew. She didn’t know what she knew, but she knew it was something big. She loves her too. And if I didn’t know already that she was the one, her approval would seal the deal._

_I loved her yesterday, I love her today, I’ll love her tomorrow and every day after that._

Ali doesn’t realize she’s tearing up again until her dad hands her a tissue from the pack she keeps in her center console.

“We’re here,” he says, and she looks up to see one of her favorite Mexican restaurants, a date night go-to when neither she nor Ashlyn feels like cooking.

“Are you coming in?” she asks.

“No, just tell them your name and I think they’ll seat you with her,” he says. “I’m taking your car, but I think you’ll be fine for a ride for the rest of the day.”

Ali shakes her head in disbelief. Ashlyn really did pull out all the stops today. She kisses her dad on the cheek and gathers her things, leaving the note in the car with the one from earlier. She walks up to the hostess stand and tells the woman her name.

“Right this way, Miss Krieger,” she says, smiling brightly. She leads her through the restaurant, and Ali starts getting giddy about finally seeing Ashlyn and getting to thank her for everything she’s done today, but it isn’t Ashlyn sitting at the table.

“Liz!” Ali exclaims. “She dragged you into this, too?” Liz stands up to hug Ali, laughing.

“I guess so,” she says. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for romance.”

“I can’t,” Ali says, scooting into the booth. “She’s done some sweet things over the years, but I think this takes the cake. She’s been leaving me notes she wrote, but like ripped out of her journal. As if she’s been planning this since we met.”

“Like this?” Liz says, dangling another one in front of her face. “Or like this?” She pulls another out, and Ali sees they are labeled #1 and #2.

“Give me those,” Ali says, snatching them away. “How mad do you think she’d be if I read the second one first?”

“You’d never,” Liz says, narrowing her eyes and calling Ali’s bluff. “You’re too Type A.” When the waitress comes by, Liz orders them both margaritas, but Ali’s already engulfed in the notes.

_11/3/2010_

_I have to admit, from the moment I saw her I knew I’d be in trouble. I didn’t know how deep it would go, though. I’ve had crushes on straight girls before, and I’ve learned my lesson. But I just couldn’t stay away from her. Or maybe she just wouldn’t let me. Maybe that should have been a clue._

_Until tonight, I wasn’t sure if she was flirting or just an extremely kind, friendly, touchy feely kind of person. I always watch her interact with everyone else, so I kind of figured the latter. She isn’t much for hugging, but she’s a close, intense talker, always making the kind of eye contact that might make me uncomfortable if I wasn’t so into drowning in her eyes._

_I still can’t believe we kissed. Well, I can believe that I kissed her. But I can’t believe she asked for it, or that she kissed me back. In the daydreams and nightmares I’d had before then, I’d always just gone for it, not able to help myself, and scared her away._

_I don’t think I’ll ever forget the moment my life changed forever. I might be a little dramatic, I mean it was just an hour or so ago, but we were laying on the beach looking at the stars and talking about absolutely nothing, then we were just quiet. I like that no silence is ever awkward with her. And then she turned on her side to look at me and said “are you ever going to kiss me?”_

_I thought my heart stopped beating. I honestly thought I might have died and gone to heaven, or fallen asleep and dreamed it up. I think I freaked her out by hesitating, because she started to say something else, but by then my instincts kicked in and I kissed her. It was magic. That’s the only way I can describe it. I don’t know what this means, and I’m still terrified that she’ll wake up in the morning and realize it was a horrible mistake, but I’m praying to whatever higher power is out there that it meant just as much to her as it did to me._

Ali closes her eyes, remembering that moment like it was yesterday before moving on to the next note. To date, it is probably the gutsiest thing she’s ever done in a relationship.

_11/9/2010  
The stars seriously aligned last night. I can’t stop thinking about her, about how perfect that was. I’m on the plane home now, and being away from her is killing me already, but last night. Wow._

_We couldn’t get enough of each other after that first kiss, so every night we’d sneak off to the beach and make out. Nobody thought twice about it, we’ve been attached at the hip this whole time anyway. But last night, considering it was our last night in Cancun, everyone suddenly wanted to join us, which was a huge bummer. Ali was sad because it was our last night as a team, but it was also our last night together, and it was upsetting because we probably weren’t going to get any alone time._

_After the beach, a group ended up in Ali and HAO’s room, including Yael, who I’ve been rooming with. I think everyone could tell Ali wasn’t feeling great, so nobody was shocked when we excused ourselves, but I think they all felt a little bad that Ali was being forced out of her room. That’s when the miraculous thing happened. Yael followed us into the hallway and asked if Ali wanted to switch rooms for the night so she could get some rest._

_We hadn’t talked about it up till then, and I certainly wasn’t going to bring it up, but we were both thrilled to get some time alone, especially a whole night. We picked a movie on the TV, some chick flick with Drew Barrymore that Ali said was “like, her favorite” (everything is Ali’s favorite), and we lasted not even five minutes before our focus was totally on each other. I’m pretty sure she initiated the kissing, but I definitely was the one going under her shirt first._

_I don’t really need to write the rest in order to remember it forever, but needless to say, it was incredible. She was hesitant at times and I tried to be gentle and make her comfortable, but I saw a side to her I had never seen before. She kept stopping to ask if she was doing it right, and her timid voice made me fall even deeper into whatever this lust/love/infatuation thing is I’ve got going on. There’s still a voice in the back of my head warning me to not get too head over heels, but I can’t help myself. She’s amazing._

_I would have held onto her all night, but at some point in the middle of the night she was in her right mind enough to get dressed and get into Yael’s bed, which turned out to be our saving grace when she tiptoed in at 6 a.m. to get her stuff for her flight. I didn’t want to let go of her when it was time to get on our planes, and we had our last kiss in a miraculously empty bathroom right before we had to part ways. Definitely not the most romantic thing I’ve ever done, but I’m glad I got one last kiss._

_The next camp, assuming I even get called up and assuming Ali can even get out of her club obligations, isn’t till January. She’s going to be in Germany for way too long as far as I’m concerned, but she’ll be back in America right before Christmas._

_Oh yeah. One more thing (you can see where my mind is…). Before we fell asleep, we kinda defined the relationship. I’m happy to report (and you would be too if you were capable of emotion) that she’s all mine. Well, mostly. We’re being sensible about things. Distance is going to be tough, but if anyone could make it worth it, it’s her._

Of course, that one makes her blush, and Liz catches onto it, furrowing her brow. “What does it say?” she asks, and Ali just shakes her head.

“I think you were supposed to give me these ones here because they happened in Cancun.”

“Oh, smart,” Liz says. “What happened in—oh God,” she says, remembering Ali’s visit home right after. “Gross.”

“Bite your tongue,” Ali says. “It’s very sweet and sentimental.”

“Whatever you say,” Liz says.

They spend the better part of two hours catching up on their typical best friend gossip and gorging themselves on chips and guacamole until Ali all but forgets why they’re even there. When the waitress brings the check (that of course has been paid for by some mysterious donor, she says, but Ali just rolls her eyes), Liz quickly looks down to consult her phone, then looks right back up at Ali.

“Time to go!” she announces, hopping up from the table. “Shall we?”

Ali knows better than to question anything at this point, so she just follows Liz to her car, checking her phone to see if there are any texts from Ashlyn. Nope. She’s doing an excellent job of flying under the radar, though Ali does sort of wish she were spending the day with her.

The next location is a park where they come quite often on days off. Liz leads her down a winding path before stopping short and telling her to close her eyes. Ali obliges begrudgingly. “I won’t let you fall, I promise,” Liz says, taking her arm and leading her a little farther along. “Okay, I’m going to let go now because we’re here, but count to twenty before opening your eyes.” She squeezes her hand, and when Ali opens her eyes twenty seconds later, she’s no longer there.

“Liz?” she asks, turning around, but Liz isn’t there. Instead, it’s Kyle. “What?” she exclaims, jumping into his arms. “You’re kidding me. You are not here right now.”

“I am,” he confirms, squeezing her tight. “Please, you and Harris have been together five years today, you think I’d miss out on being part of the celebration? Plus I really wanted to see her being cute.”

“Stop it,” Ali says. “Stop it right now. This is so beyond perfect.” She stares at him, grinning. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Believe it, kid,” he says. “Oh, before I forget, I have something for you. As much as I want to gab and catch up on life, I think she’d kill me if I didn’t have you read it.” He pulls another page out from his pocket, and Ali is already excited for what’s to come. She sits on a nearby bench to read it.

_9/15/2011  
I haven't stopped crying for the past day and I haven't written about it or told anyone yet because it still doesn't feel real. Ali and I are over. I can't even blame her because it wasn't her fault, but I feel like complete shit._

_I'm sure Ali's told plenty of people. She needs people around her when she's upset. When I'm this bad, I just need Ali._

_I woke up this morning and immediately reached for my phone to text her good morning before remembering. It's little things like that, the muscle memory that shows me just how built in she is, how second nature it is for me to reach for her._

_She's going to be with the National Team starting today, meaning people are going to find out pretty soon. I don't think I'm ready for that. When we got together it was our little secret for a while, and it was terrifying and stressful and confusing and magical. She was all mine and nobody interfered. Now I'm in my own little bubble of heartbreak and denial and loneliness and it doesn't seem real yet but as soon as I get the first text from someone asking how I'm doing after they find out, it'll suddenly be real. I don't know how I'm going to come to terms with it._

_She told me she'd get my stuff back to me and I told her to keep it. It probably sounded angry when I said it. But I can't bear the thought of wearing the clothes she kept because they smelled like me when I know they'll just smell like her. She didn't ask for her things back, which is good because I can't bring myself to stop my nightly ritual of spraying her Penn State sweatshirt with the tiny bottle of perfume she left here last time she came to visit, and secretly I hope she's still wearing the UNC sweatshirt she had on every time we Skyped._

_I know it's supposed to get easier, but I don't even want that. I just want her._

Ali can’t stop the tears from welling up from the very first sentence. By the end, tears are streaming down her face and Kyle is soothing her.

“Okay, she did not warn me that would happen,” he says. “What does it say?” Without waiting for a response, he snatches away the letter, skimming it. “Oh,” he says. “I probably wasn’t supposed to read that.”

Ali laughs, shaking her head. “God, I remember that so clearly. It was awful.”

“I do too,” Kyle says, rubbing her back. “You were a wreck for weeks. But I wasn’t surprised when you got back together.”

“Yeah,” she says. “It was never going to last. We were too miserable without each other.”

“And now you just get to make everyone else miserable being so fucking perfect for each other,” Kyle groans. “She’s a keeper, you know. In more ways than one.”

“If I had a nickel for every time I heard that joke, I’d be rich,” Ali says, rolling her eyes.

“I know,” Kyle says. “But I’m serious. When she called me to ask me to fly out for her to surprise you like this and I heard how excited she was to do this for you, I couldn’t say no. Not that I’d turn down a free plane ticket ever. But as hard as it is living across the country from you, there’s nobody I trust more to take care of you and treat you the way you deserve than her.”

“That means a lot,” Ali says, leaning her head against Kyle’s shoulder. “I’m pretty lucky.”

“So is she,” he says. “Because you’re a catch. And you’d defend her to the death.” He tries keeping a straight face but doesn’t manage.

“Okay, enough soccer jokes,” Ali laughs. “Is Ashlyn ever going to join in on this?”

“What? I’m not enough?” he asks, pretending to be offended. “I’m sure she’s off being the puppet master somewhere else, but don’t worry, I’m pretty sure you’ll get to see your own girlfriend on your anniversary.”

“I better,” Ali grumbles. “I was kind of planning on spending all day in bed.”

“Ew, enough!” he exclaims, plugging his ears.

“You’ve done way worse,” she says, and he shrugs, knowing it’s true.

“Okay, one more stop. I think,” he says. “I actually have no idea, she only told me what my job is. I’m in the dark otherwise. But you’re at least one stop closer.”

He takes her arm and they walk through the park, talking about everything and nothing. She’s giddy having him by her side and is even more excited now to see Ashlyn later and for all three of them to hang out. She’s sure they’ll still get their much-needed alone time eventually.

Finally, they come upon a blanket laid out for what looks like a picnic without food. The blanket is the same one she and Ashlyn usually take for their picnics. They got it in Sweden, and it has stayed with them ever since, a token of their time there.

“Sit,” he says, and she obeys. “Okay, now don’t hate me, but I have to go. I promise I’ll see you at home whenever Ashlyn finishes all this.” No sooner has he left her line of vision than do hands cover her eyes from behind.

“Ash!” she shrieks, caught off guard.

“Close, but no,” a voice says, and the hands come down. She turns to see Whitney, who smiles a bit guiltily.

“You’re here too?” Ali says, almost feeling repetitive now. She hugs Whit, who sits crosslegged next to her.

“She’s my best friend, I’ve been going along with her crazy schemes since college,” she says with a shrug. “By the way, you and Kyle must have talked way too much because we’re running super late now. Ashlyn has been texting me for like fifteen minutes asking if you were here yet.”

“At least she’s texting someone,” Ali says.

“Sorry,” Whit says. “I think she just wants to make it special. It’s what, your five-year anniversary? She’s been trying to come up with something to do for you since probably your last one. Here, let’s take a selfie and we can send it to her.” She pulls out her phone, and Ali tries to sneak a glance at Ashlyn’s texts, but Whitney is too smooth for that. Ali makes her usual selfie face with her mouth open in what she hopes looks like a joyous expression, and Whit grins. “Perfect,” she says. “Here.” She hands over another page. Ali realizes that she hasn’t kept a single one, but she hopes Kyle and Liz and her dad knew better than to throw them away.

“I hope this one is happier than the last,” Ali says, only half kidding.

“What is it?” Whit asks.

“She didn’t tell you?” Ali asks, but she can tell by Whit’s expression that she has no idea. “She’s been leaving me journal entries she wrote about me since we met.”

“Ashlyn? Ashlyn Harris?” Whitney laughs. “Amazing. Just when you think you know everything about a person.”

“She’s always journaled!” Ali says, not sure why that would be a huge surprise to Whitney.

“I know,” Whit says. “But I read her journals in college and they were all just whatever she did that day. Nothing juicy ever. Maybe love does change people.”

“Maybe,” Ali says, smiling as she unfolds the paper.

_8/24/13  
Or maybe I should say 24/8/13, considering we’re in Sweden now! The weather is chilly but beautiful, and I am so happy to be here. I’m so happy Ali got to join at pretty much the last minute. I’m so happy Whitney is coming soon. I’m so happy that I forget sometimes I’m not on vacation and I’m here to work. It’s amazing._

_Ali and I went into town today and bought some fancy picnic food and an enormous blanket, like so big that when we lay on it together we can comfortable wrap it around us both with room to spare. Trust me, we tried. We went exploring around the castle and found a nice sunny spot to just hang out. I swear I’ve never felt more at peace in my life, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that she was a part of it._

_She’s just part of me now, like another limb. When she isn’t around, I miss her, it doesn’t matter where she is or for how long. And when we are together, we’re never close enough. I’m sure it makes everyone sick how I always need to be touching her, but she makes me feel safe. I know I write about her all the time, but she’s all I think about._

_We had one of those conversations today, one that makes me reflect and get vulnerable and laugh and cry and fall even deeper in love with her. And I think I realized today, laying on that blanket on the outskirts of Stockholm, that I’m going to be in love with her for the rest of my life. That might be a scary thought if I wasn’t also thoroughly convinced that she’ll be in love with me for that long too. We talk about the future a lot, but it feels so far away. Then I think about how two years ago I didn’t even know her and now I can’t picture life without her._

_I don’t even know if I believe in marriage, but I can see myself marrying her. I never knew if I wanted kids, but I can see them with her. Everything she wants is what I want, and I want to see the whole world through those amazing eyes of hers. She inspires me so much. I haven’t even been able to get through this entry without stopping every few minutes to kiss her while she’s reading beside me. I’m so in love. I’m not even scared for the future anymore like I was in college and even after that because I know whatever the future holds, it is going to be so good with her in it._

Ali feels like she’s right back in that field with Ashlyn as she reads it, feeling the soft wool of the blanket underneath her. She remembers Ashlyn’s hands and lips getting carried away and how tempting it was to just go with it before coming to her senses just before a tour group walked past. They were far enough away that they likely wouldn’t have seen them, but it was thrilling just the same, Ali’s heart beating out of her chest right where Ashlyn’s lips had just been. She still feels the excitement of that moment mixed with the serenity and emotion of a conversation where they had talked about their fears, homesickness, dreams, regrets, and plans for the future. She remembers being amazed at how they had been together nearly two years at that point and she was still learning things about Ashlyn. Now, three years later, she doesn’t think she’ll ever stop learning more about her.

“Okay, one more thing,” Whit says, handing Ali a different sheet of paper, this one clearly not from Ashlyn’s journals.

_11/8/15  
Hang in there baby! I know by now you’re probably pretty annoyed with me for making you run all over town, but I hope you’re enjoying yourself. It’s been a privilege to love you for five whole years, and I wanted to show you a little bit about what those years have meant to me. Trust me though, if I were to show you every single page I’ve written about you, this adventure might take five more years._

_If you need some entertainment as you go, ask Whit to tell you the story about trying to buy your first Christmas present._

_I love you so much,  
Ash_

Ali smiles, loving how well Ashlyn knows her. She was getting frustrated before, but as long as Ashlyn is waiting at the end, Ali will be along for the ride.

“Ready?” Whit asks, and Ali nods.

“Yes. But tell me the Christmas present story,” she says, showing her the note. Whit just laughs.

“Okay, tell you on the way,” she says, and they head toward her car.

Ali listens as Whit recounts what sounds like the most miserable shopping day in history, with Ashlyn waiting till the very last second to shop and then realizing she had absolutely no idea what to get Ali. The day involved a grumpy elf from the North Pole at the mall, an overly flirtatious salesgirl at Yankee Candle, and a chocolate ice cream cone Ashlyn bought Whitney as repayment for making her tag along that ended up all over Whitney’s brand new white winter coat.

She realizes she can’t even remember what the gift Ashlyn gave her was, only how magical the actual day they spent together was, but she won’t tell Whitney that considering all she went through for that perfect present. She’s laughing so hard by the end of it she almost misses the figure standing by Whitney’s car.

“HAO!” Ali exclaims. “How on earth did she drag you into this?”

“It’s a Tarheel thing,” HAO shrugs. “Plus she told me you guys have been together for five years and reminded me of a bet I made that you wouldn’t last five months, so this is my punishment. But also I just really wanted to see you.”

“Happy to see you too,” Ali laughs, hugging her. “This is all just too much.”

“You deserve it for putting up with her for this long,” HAO says. “Whit, time check?”

“We’re good,” Whit confirms. “She’ll just have to read whatever this one says on the way.”

“Perfect!” HAO says, handing Ali two pages. She opens the door for Ali. “Get in loser, we’re going to hunt down your lady.”

Ali’s heart leaps with excitement as she gets into the back seat, unfolding the page marked #1.

_7/10/11  
MY BABY JUST GOT THE USA INTO THE SEMIFINALS OF THE WORLD CUP! I haven’t stopped shaking since I saw she was getting up to take a PK in a fucking shootout of all things. I’m pretty sure I stopped breathing. Everyone around me was just looking to see what I’d do, and all I could think was “don’t miss.” She’s practiced against me so many times, and I may not have made it to the World Cup, but I think I’m a fair match. AND THEN IT WENT IN. I don’t even think I saw her strike it, and I talked to her a few minutes ago and she said it wasn’t a good one, but I don’t care. All I saw was THE BALL GOING IN. I couldn’t be more proud if I tried. I’m a little drunk from the celebration, so I don’t have much more to say, but holy shit. That’s my girl._

This one has another, briefer entry at the bottom.

_7/17/11  
My heart is breaking. They fought so hard, but they didn’t win. In a fucking penalty shootout. I’m so proud of their performance and their heart, but that isn’t worth much when you’re listening to your girlfriend sob over the phone for an hour. I just want to be there. I just want to hold her. This game is a heartbreaker._

Ali feels a lump in her throat as she thinks back to that night, a night she tries not to revisit but has every day since it happened. She takes a deep, shaky breath in and opens the next.

_7/5/15  
We’re World Cup Champions. I’m so proud to be part of this team and I’m even prouder of my Alex. I feel like I should have something to say about what it means to me personally in my life journey or how enormous it feels to be on this stage, but how could anything be more important than the pride and joy I have bursting from my heart over her? She is such a rock star and I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to be on her team on the soccer field, but I’m even luckier to be on her team in life. My best friend, my teammate, my rock, my everything. She’s the only reason I made it this far, and I like to think I had something to do with her coming back after the Olympic devastation. We finally found the secret recipe: me and her. Simple as that. We’re champions together, and now I know that when we’re together, nothing is ever going to stop us._

Ali sniffles, and of course HAO and Whit catch it, but they’re too nice to say anything. She wants to grab Ashlyn and tell her that all the same things apply to her, that Ali is so enormously proud and honored to be on this journey with her, and Ali knows she’ll never believe it, but she’s willing to spend the rest of her life trying to prove it.

“Ready, princess?” HAO asks, and Ali looks up, realizing they’ve come to a stop and HAO has opened her door.

They’re at the Lincoln Memorial, and Ali thinks this must be where Ashlyn finally meets her. It’s almost sunset, and it’s such an Ashlyn thing to make her grand entrance at a place so special to them both. The first time Ashlyn came to visit Ali in D.C., she showed her everything, even the things she had already seen on school trips and the like. Ashlyn liked seeing it from Ali’s eyes, and Ali liked hearing Ashlyn’s perspective on the things she always took for granted. They’ve spent plenty of nights strolling along and watching the sun set over the reflecting pool.

Ali rubs her hands together to warm them as the day begins to cool, and HAO leads her to the steps. She’s scanning the steps for Ashlyn among the fairly few people milling about, but comes up short. Her attention is elsewhere when HAO clears her throat, and Ali turns to see none other than…

“Mom!” she exclaims, hugging her. “Of course you’re here.”

“Ashlyn insisted I help you celebrate your anniversary in style, and who am I to say no to the woman who has made my baby so happy for five years?” she says. “I think we’re meeting Ashlyn and Kyle and your father for a dinner reservation after this, so you better hurry and read because you’re late.” She hands her an envelope.

“Deb!” HAO hisses, and Deb’s eyes widen.

“Oh no, I don’t think I was supposed to tell you the part about dinner,” she says. “Just… act surprised?”

Ali rolls her eyes, laughing. “Trust me, I’m just happy to know I’ll get to see Ashlyn soon,” she says, ripping open the envelope. She takes a seat on the top step and reads while her mom and HAO talk.

_7/6/15  
I woke up this morning and realized it was now or never. I wouldn’t say I’d been putting it off really, but it was never the right time. But today, with everyone’s whole families in town for just one more day, I had to take the opportunity. Ali went for interviews early this morning, so I took Deb and Ken out for breakfast. I can’t believe I’m even writing this. Deep breaths, Ashlyn._

_I asked them if I could have their blessing in marrying Ali. Yeah. I can’t even believe I had the guts to do that. It felt like it took them a decade to answer, but they were all smiles and positivity. Ken said he didn’t have any say over Ali, but if it were up to him he would have given me his blessing the first time we met. I doubt that’s really true, but it was a nice sentiment. Deb echoed it, saying she would never stand in the way of true love._

_Now I just have to figure out how to ask her. I’m praying incredibly hard right now that she doesn’t read my journal or else I’m screwed. Then again, I write so much about her in here that I’d probably have figured out by now if she had ever read it. Actually, it might be cool to show her some of the things I’ve written as my proposal, like I’m pretty sure I wrote in whatever journal I had at the time about our first kiss and all that. I’ll have to dig through the attic to find my older ones, but how cool would that be?_

It all slowly starts to sink in for Ali, who has no idea what to do now. She stands up and turns for answers. “Mom?” she asks, looking for clarification, but instead she finds Ashlyn. Finally Ashlyn. In one of Ali’s favorite suits, on one knee, her dimple on full display as she grins.

Ali’s hands fly to her face when she sees her, when she sees the box she’s holding and the diamond ring sparkling from within it.

“Alex,” Ashlyn says slowly, trying to ease Ali into it. “These past five years have been the best years of my life, and they just keep getting better. You have changed me as a person and you have loved me through some of the hardest days I’ve had. You inspire me every single day to fight harder, to do better, and to love harder. I love you so much and I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without waking up to you every morning and holding your hand through every day. Please, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”

All day, Ali had been surrounded by some of the people she loves most in the world, but they could all be here right now and she wouldn’t even notice because her focus would always be Ashlyn.

“Of course,” Ali breathes, her eyes filling with tears. Ashlyn’s smile widens even more as she takes out the ring, slipping it onto Ali’s finger. Ashlyn can see it will need a bit of resizing, but from Ali’s perspective, it’s perfect. But Ali only looks at the diamond for an instant, her gaze immediately returning to Ashlyn’s eyes as she stands and finally gives her the kiss she’s been waiting all day—no, all her life—for.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed that! It took enough out of me emotionally that you BETTER HAVE CRIED. Kidding. Or am I?
> 
> If you've ever read one of my fics, you'll know how much I love my questions, so here goes...  
> 1\. Favorite surprise guest?  
> 2\. Favorite letter?  
> 3\. Favorite line?  
> 4\. Be honest... did you see it coming? (Or lie to me, that's fine too)  
> 5\. FCKC or Reign in the final?!


End file.
